Conflict of Emotional Interests
by Amanda3271
Summary: Set a little after the wedding in 14x15 where J.J. and Reid reflect individually over what just occurred between them.


*****As some of you may be aware…I do write mainly Bones fanfiction but I have been thinking about experimenting with writing stories in other fanbases of fanfiction. For instance this will be the first experimental story for Criminal Minds fanfiction as I had not had the courage to write for Criminal Minds fanfiction readers until now…so please I beg of you to be kind in the reviews. For this first story I had actually thought about writing it in the mind of J.J. as she reflects on her troubled feelings for Reid after coming home from the wedding…so this will be set somewhere in her and Will's house. For those of you whom are wondering…J.J.'s bombshell to Reid did shock me a bit…as I had at first did ship them together at one time during the very first season of Criminal Minds…but once J.J. had met Will and started a family with him…I had begun to respect J.J.'s decision to be with Will and I had slowly begun to only see the relationship between J.J. and Reid as a brother-sister type relationship. Nonetheless…how you guys choose to think about their relationship is solely on you guys…I will not judge. Anyways…on to the story!*****

****This will be written somewhat in J.J.'s point of view…and depending how well the reviews are is whether or not I will update this story with a second chapter concerning the thoughts of Reid.****

***Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or its characters as I will mainly borrow these characters for any plot of my stories and they will not be used for profit. All rights to the show and its characters are reserved respectfully to the people that own them: CBS, Harry Bing, and Erica Messer.***

Conflict of Emotional Interests

**J.J.'s POV:**

10:00 p.m.

The kids were in their beds and hopefully asleep and Will was currently lounging in our bed watching T.V. and waiting for me to join him, but it would be a while before I would be ready to join him, as I had a lot on my mind from the previous events of today. We had gotten home earlier this evening from David and Krystals's wedding and had relieved the babysitter from her job of watching the boys, but that wasn't what was currently plaguing my mind and keeping me from sleeping. I was still reeling from the fact that I had just spilled my long held secret about having feelings for Reid to well….Reid.

This was a fact that I wasn't yet willing to let Will in on yet as I didn't quite understand how my feelings about Reid were just yet and I also didn't want Will storming over to Reid's apartment at this time of night, because a part of me doubting that Will would be able to understand where I was coming from. I DID have feelings for Reid but I also do have feelings for my husband and the whole situation that I had just created by saying my feelings out loud towards Reid today just makes me so confused as I don't think I understand the feelings that I am feeling right now.

When Reid asked me at the wedding if I actually meant what I said towards him…I was so speechless that I couldn't even formulate a response that was good enough to even my standards…it wasn't just because Will was there but it was mainly because I didn't have a clue what to say. If I had said something to him about it…and if Will had known what I had said….Will would never forgive me.

Was I ignorant to how Reid feels about me? No. I knew that he had hidden feelings for me since we first met all those years ago…I mean even Gideon could tell that Reid was interested in me…which was why he had encouraged Reid to go ask me to a baseball game. I had Garcia go with us because although it wasn't like I wasn't interested in him or anything…it is just I didn't really know him that well yet. Not as well as I know him now. I knew that he had feeling for me back then but he was just too nervous to come out and admit it to me….which is what separated him from Will.

I felt like a teenager who is agonizing over a trouble over which boy to have as her boyfriend, but except I am the one who is already married and have just told my team member that I have always loved him. I suppose the reason why I revealed my feelings for him because I was afraid that we were both going to get killed and we would never get to see our family or friends again. But then that wouldn't be a good enough excuse as it would imply to Reid that I didn't mean what I said towards him…..when I actually really DID mean it.

My main problem wasn't how I was going to deal with this problem with Reid…it was how I was going to reveal it to Will…and how he might take it. I have been married to Will for almost seven years and for the most part I am happy for how my life is going so far and I can't help but think of the possibility of what might have happened if I had been with Reid and Will and I had never even met. Would I still be as happy as I am right now with Will and the kids? I don't know.

I know that I will have to confront Reid about what I said towards him but it will have to be later because I think Reid and I need some space away from each other right now in order to give each other some time to process our thoughts.

Space is the best thing that we can give each other at the moment.

*****This story is somewhat short…I know…but it is an experimental story to see if I can be able to write for a fanbase that is different from Bones. I might write more Criminal Minds stories in the future but for now…please be okay with this one…and for those of you who are Bones fans as well and are currently wondering when I will be updating "Baby Steps" with a new chapter…the ideal update date will probably be Friday June 7****th****…please bear with me as I am trying to get back into the groove up writing and posting fanfiction again.*****

****Like I said…whether or not I update this story with a new chapter that gives you Reid's thoughts on the matter…depends highly upon how well the reviews are from this one. Thank you and please review!****


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